Dr. Ajay Nihalani – Sexologist on Mental Illness Part-2

 

Vedio by sexologist in indirapuram Dr Ajay Nihalani on mental illness part-2

Website : http://nihalaniclinics.com/sexologist.html

 

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Good Parenting

Parenting is an important part of loving and caring for your child. Good parenting is about providing a warm, secure home life, helping your child to learn the rules of life (e.g. how to share, respecting others, etc.) and to develop good self-esteem. You may have to stop them from doing things they shouldn’t be doing, but it is just as important to encourage them to do the things you do want them to do.

Why is parenting important?

Rules are an important part of everyday life. They make it possible for us to get along with one another. If children do not learn how to behave, they will find it difficult to get on, both with grown-ups and with other children. They will find it hard to learn at school, will misbehave and will probably become unhappy and frustrated.

Matty’s story

“It’s only in the last year or so that I began to think that a family could be a good place to be…a home. I’m the eldest, and I took a lot of my Dad’s fury – or just being pissed which is what it often was. I know my Mum wasn’t always a saint – she could really wind him up – in fact she does it to me sometimes and then I get terrified that I’ll react like him.

Anyway sometimes they would just argue and shout…but then I’d seen what he could do when he loses it…I had to take Mum to hospital once and it was just horrible. In fact I remember being amazed how she looked almost normal when they’d cleaned her up. But seeing it or even worse just hearing it was … don’t know … I couldn’t bear it, and I wanted to kill him. I couldn’t I know – even if I was strong enough – so I just used to hold onto the little ones and sort of hide with them till it was over.

But it did get so I didn’t want to go home after school … so I’d stay out late sometimes with my mates. Then my Mum started saying I was just like him. That was the worst time ever.

Then he left and things sort of calmed down, but I was still scared I’d be the same. Then we had this counsellor who talked to my Mum, and me and the kids together. Somehow it all began to seem … well at least possible.”

How not to let it go wrong?
  • Be clear and consistent

Your own experience of childhood is very important. Even if you want to do things differently from your own experience, you may find yourself doing the same with your own children. Or you find that you are doing the opposite! It is helpful if you can aim to be as clear and consistent as you can be.

  • Show a unified front

If parents disagree about rules and their expectations for their children, the children may get mixed up because they don’t know what they are expected to do. They may find that if they ask each parent/carer the same question, they get different answers. So whether parents are together or living in different homes, it is important, as far as possible, that everyone who cares for the child agrees on the most important matters and the behaviours they want to encourage their children to do.

  • Encourage positive behaviours

Parenting can be hard work, both physically and emotionally. It’s easy to let things slip if you are stressed, depressed, tired, very busy or don’t have any help looking after your children. Without consistent encouragement and expectations, children may get in to bad habits with their behaviour.

It is important to make sure that children feel secure, loved and valued, and to notice when they are behaving well. The trick to this is to find strategies that work well for you and your child. Here are some ideas:

Be consistent
If you don’t stick to the rules your child will learn that if they ignore them, you will probably give in.
Give lots of praise
Let your children know when they have done something well and when you are pleased with them. For example, give them a hug, give them a kiss and tell them how great they are. You need to do this straight away.
Planning ahead
It helps if you and your child know the rules for particular situations before they happen. Don’t make them up as you go along (e.g. if bedtime is 7pm, make sure you both stick to it).
Involve your child
Sit down with your child and talk to them about good behaviour. You might be surprised about how much you both agree on.
Be calm
This can be difficult in the heat of the moment, but it does help. Be calm and clear with your commands, for example ‘please switch off the TV’ or ‘it’s bedtime’.
Be clear with your child
For example ‘please put your toys away’ tells children exactly what you expect them to do. Simply telling them to ‘be good’ does not. If your child can’t understand you, they can’t obey you. Keep it short and simple.
Be realistic
It’s no good promising a wonderful reward or dreadful punishment if you are not going to see it through. It is much better to offer small rewards rather than punishments. For example, ‘when you have tidied your room, you can have an ice cream’. Don’t expect miracles. If your child has only partly tidied their room, praise them for having started.
The importance of your relationship
When times are difficult, it is easy to forget that you can actually have nice times together. Everybody can end up feeling angry and upset. So you need to plan to have good times together. For example, you could play a game, read or cook with them for 10 minutes every day.
(From RCPsych Patient Info)bigstock-happy-girl-holding-paper-peopl-20334038_v_Variation_2

About Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias

Dementia is a term used to describe brain disorders that have in common loss of brain function. This is usually progressive and eventually severe. There are over 100 different types of dementia. The most common are Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia and Lewy body dementia. Dementia is not a normal part of ageing, although it is more common in the elderly. About one in five people over the age of 80 develop dementia.

Early changes in the person’s behaviour

As a carer you may notice:

  • forgetfulness, which affects daily living
  • problems with common everyday tasks
  • problems naming common objects
  • getting lost easily, even in familiar places
  • changes in mood, behaviour or personality
  • loss of interest in hobbies
  • loss of interest in hygiene and personal appearance
  • anxiety about loss of memory.

Making a diagnosis of dementia

There is no single specific test that can show whether someone has dementia. A diagnosis is made by talking to the person and a close relative or friend to get an understanding of the person’s history, as well considering all other possible causes of the symptoms.

(From RCPsych Patient info)